Jimmy John and Jersey Mike
Went out with Trader Joe
Taco John tagged along
He had no place else to go
P.F. Chang and L.L. Bean
Said they were on their way
Office Max got off his ass
And called up Circle K
Ruby Tuesday and Red Robin
Were already half trashed
Olive Oyl and Olive Garden
Were scrounging for cash
TJ Maxx and P.O. Box
An alcoholic glow
The night that Jersey Mike and Jimmy John
Went out with Trader Joe