Guy Outside

There's a guy outside
He's sitting on my steps
He hasn't moved for hours
My God, he might be dead
Well, I should go down there
Put a mirror beneath his nose
I should check for his wallet
But then I'd have to touch his clothes
And he might not be real dead
He could be sleeping, I suppose
Why is he sleeping on my steps?
Heaven only knows

Well, I've been thinking real hard
About that guy outside
I wonder where he came from
And I wonder how he died
And I wonder if his soul
Is resting some place yet
I wonder if he smoked
'Cause I could use a cigarette
What was he real proud of
And what did he regret
And what the fuck's he doing
Sitting on my steps?

Well, then a bug flew down
Landed in his ear
He never even flinch
And that's exactly what I feared
You know, I'll bet he's got a wife
And a happy family
Do they know his whereabouts
Are they depending on me
To dial 911
And report an emergency
They'll come to haul that stiff away
Hey, I might be on TV

Well, there's a guy outside
I wish he'd go away
Look what that bastard's done
He's gone and ruined my whole day
Copyright © 1995-2019 Pat McCurdy • All rights reserved