If I Wasn't Drunk

If I wasn't drunk
Mister, you'd be in trouble
If I wasn't drunk
Buddy, you'd be afraid
If I wasn't loaded
If I was strung out
I'd reach in your head
And rip your tongue out
I'd teach you a lesson
Oh yes, I would
I'd teach you a lesson
And you'd learn it good
If I wasn't drunk

If I wasn't drunk
Baby, you'd be my girlfriend
If I wan't drunk
I'd have a life
If I wasn't loaded
I'd jump on your body
Your boyfriend couldn't stop me
'Cause I know karate
I'd teach him a lesson
Oh yes, I would
I'd teach him a lesson
And he'd learn it good
If I wasn't drunk

These are the Days of Wine and Roses
Saturday night of the Lost Weekend

If I wasn't drunk
You know I would miss
Hanging around people like you
In places like this
If I wasn't loaded
If I wasn't crispy
If I wasn't toasted
Teary-eyed and misty
I'd put down this bottle
I'd put down this beer
I'd put on my coat
And get out of here
If I wasn't drunk
If I wasn't drunk
Copyright © 1995-2019 Pat McCurdy • All rights reserved