Napoleon's Penis

He almost conquered half of Europe
'Til he got beat at Waterloo
And on his deathbed this is what
He told his friends to do:

"Put my body in a tomb
Like all the great ones are
Chop off my little sabre
And put it in a jar"

This impish little Emperor
Who inspired a symphony
Said, "I hope you'll name a brandy
Or a pastry after me.

And of course you'll come to Corsica
When from this life I part
Feel free to drink to me
And tear my Bonaparte."

It was Napoleon's penis, Napoleon's penis
There wasn't much between us, just Napoleon's penis
The original French tickler, c'est vrai c'est tres petit
Genitalia on display for all the world to see

So now whenever I'm in Paris
And I'm stuck in some museum
Those boring Mona Lisas, man,
I just don't want to see 'em

There's only one attraction
There's only one I've known
It's the first thing that I tell my friends
The minute I get home

Napoleon's penis, Napoleon's penis
His highness, His sereness, Napoleon's penis
I know it's gonna thrill you, no matter who you are
Napoleon's penis - it's in that little jar