New Ferrari

He's the big man on campus
A B-M-O-C
He can fool his professors
But he can't fool me
Because I heard him on the telephone talking to his Dad
Saying "This is the worst semester I ever had"
All the boys in my fraternity are driving faster cars than me
I heard him saying

Dad I need a new Ferrari
Wrecked the last one yesterday
Pay you back with my allowance
Drive my depression away

I know he cheats on his mid-terms
So he's a four point oh-oh
He's just got to get to Harvard
That's where the best people go
And then I heard him on the telephone talking to his mom
Saying "It's always me, I'm forever put upon"
All the boys in my fraternity are driving faster cars than me

I heard him saying
Mom I need a new Ferrari
Wrecked the last one yesterday
Won't you talk to Daddy at dinner
And drive my depression away

Now he drinks up his dinner
Another B-E-E-R
The world owes me a living
And a brand new sports car
Provided summers in Door county and winters off in Spain
Just a tiny little office
The seven-thirty train
And the boys in his fraternity are billionaires at 23

I can hear him saying
Dad I need a new Ferrari
Wrecked the last one yesterday
What about the job at that investment bank in London
Drive my depression away

Dad I need a new Ferrari
To drive my depression away