Seven Deadly Sins

I can't push myself away from the table
I have tried and tried but still I am not able
I can't push myself away from the table
And so I weigh 500 pounds

I can't refuse when someone offers me another
'Cuz I think it might make me a better lover
I can't refuse when someone offers me another
Now I'm passed out on the ground

On the ground, throwing up in the grass
I'm passed out on the ground

Chorus
Oh yeah! (Oh yeah!)
Oh yeah! (Oh yeah!)

I won't go outside until I talk to Jesus
Although I'm not completely sure he even sees us
I won't go outside until I talk to Jesus
Or until an angel sings

So I guess I'll just become Satan's minion
Because Jesus never offers his opinion
So I guess I'll just become Satan's minion
And do lots of evil things

Evil things, I'll be bad, really bad
I'll do lots of evil things

Chorus

I'm putting on some leather pants and hoping that they'll make me more appealing
I'm taking pills like Elvis Presley, hoping to relieve this empty feeling
And just like Lionel Ritchie I am hoping to start dancing on the ceiling

And I can't light my cigarette when it's raining
I know there isn't any use complaining
I can't like my cigarette when it's raining
So I guess I just won't smoke

And I can't shake my ass if there's no music playing
So I'll get down on my knees and I'll start praying
I can't shake my ass if there's no music playing
When the old Victrola's broke

When it's broke, doesn't work, it's kaput
When the old Victrola's broke

Chorus

I spend each waking hour imagining how sweet it is to be in heaven
And how the deadly sins will drag you down down down down if you let them
And I'm wondering if the deadly sins have always been divisible by seven

I must say goodbye cause now I'm tired of talking
And I'm tired of feeling like a dead man walking
I must say goodbye cause now I'm tired of talking
I think you're tired of listening to me

You're tired of listening to me
You're tired of listening to me

Chorus
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