Don't Touch My Sister

You best believe it I was ready to kill
When you told me that you put my sister on the pill
You smug little snot in your baggy pants
With your Yankee Hill apartment and your hanging plants
Don't touch my sister
Don't touch my sister
She's the only good thing my family's got left
The only good thing

My mom is Muriel, my dad is Bob
We haven't talked much since I lost my job
They give their love to their other child
To try and keep her from running wild
Don't touch my sister
Don't touch my sister
She's the only good thing that Bob and Muriel have left
The only good thing

They say your father is a wealthy man
And you're an upright young Republican
But there's a mean side of you that doesn't always show
A mean side of you and you know I know
Don't touch my sister
Don't touch my sister
She's the only good thing in this whole stinking town
The only good thing
Keep your filthy hands off that little girl
Keep your lousy hands off that little girl
Keep your fucking hands off that little girl
Aaaaaaaaah, wham bam, thank you Pat

Don't touch my sister