If You Hadn't Married Me

If you hadn't married me
You might have ended up
With an out of work musician
Or a crooked politician
A mime, a clown, or magician

If you hadn't married me
You might have ended up
With a holy roller
With a golfer or a bowler
Walking behind a double stroller

If you hadn't married me
Where would you be
If you hadn't married me
Where would you be
If you hadn't married me

If we'd never been betrothed
You never would have known
All the freaks I hang around with
All the crazy shit they're down with
And why their house is always surrounded

If you hadn't married me
Quite possibly you'd be
In a cult somewhere in Utah
Singing Glory Hallelujah
While the prophet tries to screw you

If you hadn't married me
Where would you be
If you hadn't married me
Where would you be
If you hadn't married me

If I hadn't married you
I might have ended up
Living in my parents' basement
Had you called off our engagement
With a doll as your replacement

If I hadn't married you
I might have ended up
At a crack house in Peoria
Or a houseboat in Victoria
Maybe a suite at the Waldorf Astoria

If I hadn't married you
What would I do
If I hadn't married you
What would I do
If you hadn't married me
Where would we be
If you hadn't married me
Where would we be
If you hadn't married me

Hire Pat

Email Murf or call 414-916-4914. Be sure to include the date, time of day, and location of the potential show to get an accurate price quote.