15 Favorites

Unplug Yourself


Unplug yourself, turn off the screen
Switch off your phone and float downstream
Unhook yourself and mute the sound
Stare at the sky, lie on the ground
Unplug yourself

Unplug yourself, turn off the screen
Switch off your phone and float downstream
Then disconnect your circuitry
Cut all the cords and you'll be free
To see some real people for a change
Stick out your hands and try to catch the rain

Unplug yourself, turn off the screen
Switch off your phone and float downstream
Turn off your cell for just one night
No microwaves, no satellite
To go some real places for a change
Stick out your hands and try to catch the rain

Unplug yourself

Unplug yourself, turn off the screen
Switch off your phone and float downstream
Untie yourself, delete the file
Shut down yourself for just a while
And do some real living for a change
Stick out your tongue and try to catch the rain
See some real people for a change
Open up your heart and rest your brain

Unplug yourself, turn off the screen
Switch off your phone and float downstream
Unplug yourself, turn off the screen
Switch off your phone and float downstream
Unplug yourself, turn off the screen
Switch off your phone and float downstream

Unplug yourself



Fuck Buddy Song

guitar tab
You can't just call and expect me to drop everything
Come on over and do God knows what to you
Even though I on occasion have dropped everything
Gone on over and done God knows what to you
You can't assume that I'll always be here
I've got friends, I've got hobbies, I've got a career
You can't just call and expect me to drop every...
You can't just call and expect me to drop every...
You can't just call and expect me to drop everything
Oh yes you can!

I will sleep with you
But I won't like it!
I will eat your food
Just one helping!
I'll read your magazines
I'll watch your flat TV
I'll make long distance calls
Internash, internationally

You can't just call and expect me to drop everything
Come on over and do God knows what to you
Even though I on occasion have dropped everything
Gone on over and done God knows what to you
You can't assume that I'll always be here
I've got friends, I've got hobbies, I've got a career
You can't just call and expect me to drop every...
You can't just call and expect me to drop every...
You can't just call and expect me to drop everything
Oh yes you can!



Those Were Not The Days


I remember sitting on the floor of your apartment
Because you didn't have a table or a chair
Listening to your favorite song:
If I Could Turn Back Time by Cher
I remember smoking lots of Marlboro Light 100s
And blowing all the smoke outside
With your friends from the back who were dressed in black
And acted like someone died

I don't care what you say
Those were not the days
They were fun in so many ways
But those were not the days

It's so much better now

You turned off all the lights and lit half a dozens candles
To save on the electric bill
And when you said "Sit next to me"
I said "OK, I will"
Jerkin' and a-twitchin', we were lying in the kitchen
With my knees on the cold hard floor
It was sweet, but I never want to sleep
On linoleum anymore

I don't care what you say
Those were not the days
They were fun in so many ways
But those were not the days

It's so much better now

Now we're still together in a beautiful apartment
You're afraid that the adventure's gone
Why don't we just sit down on the floor
And listen to your favorite song
Why don't we call your friends from the back
They're living in the suburbs now
I'll bet if we did, they wouldn't be caught dead
In this neighborhood anyhow

I don't care what you say
Those were not the days
They were fun in so many ways
But those were not the days

It's so much better now



Practically Out of My Mind


Like a feather in a hurricane
A sugar cube out in the pouring rain
We won't be here long
We won't be here long

So I guess it's up to you and me
To leave behind a pleasant memory
We won't be here long
We won't be here long

I can hear the rain going tap-tap-tap
On the corrugated carport
I'm thinking about this, thinking about that
Thinking about so on and so forth

I'm here again outside our house
I can't go in, I can't stay out
I can't begin to leave my doubt far behind
I'm practically out of my mind

Life is short and when you're gone, you're gone
And though we're hoping there's a great beyond
No one really knows
Where a body goes

So, it's best to leave with no regrets
No important words unsaid, and yet
No one really knows
Where a body goes

I can hear the sweet crazy music of the wind chime
Underneath the thunder
I'm thinking about me, thinking about you
Thinking about what I wonder

I'm here again outside our house
I can't go in, I can't stay out
I can't begin to leave my doubt far behind
I'm practically out of my mind

I'm practically out of my mind
I'm practically out of my mind
I'm practically out of my mind



My New Religion


There are no churches, no church bells in my new religion
There is no Heaven and no Hell in my new religion
For I believe in you and me
We can live our lives quite decently
Completely superstition free in my new religion
Completely superstition free in my new religion

And there are no collection plates in my new religion
No pedophiles or pearly gates in my new religion
There's just a bedroom and a bed
Where we can rest our lusty heads
We'll dine on wine and daily bread in my new religion
We'll dine on wine and daily bread in my new religion

For I believe in logic and reason
I believe in the love in our hearts
I believe in the changing of the seasons
And Heaven is wherever we are when we're together
And Hell is when we have to be apart
When we're apart

So don't worry about Apocalypse in my new religion
Just clap your hands and shake your hips in my new religion
Oh, we are kind and generous
We never want to make a fuss
We treat other people like we wish that they'd treat us in my new religion
We treat other people like we wish that they'd treat us in my new religion

There are no creepy undergarments in my new religion
No dietary restrictions in my new religion
No aliens or angels in my new religion
No fire and no brimstone in my new religion
No crusades or inquisitions in my new religion
Only multiple positions in my new religion

For we treat other people like we wish that they'd treat us in my new religion



Give Me Your Love


Love, give me your love
Just give half
And even that
Would be enough
Give me the smallest part
It could be the start
Of everything I'm dreaming of
Give me your love

And give me your hand
Come here to me
I'm sure that he
Will understand
I know that he loves you too
Not as much as I do
When push comes to shove
Give me your love

Go on, play it safe
Don't play at all
You take a chance
You take the fall
You make a choice
You make your move
You've got nothing to hide
You've got nothing to prove

So, go if you must
But who do you want?
Who do you need?
Who don't you trust?
You're looking for Mr. Right
The proverbial shining knight
And I'm none of the above
Give me your love

You're looking for Mr. Right
The proverbial shining knight
And I'm none of the above
Give me your love
Give me your love
Give me your love
Give me your love
Give me your love



Strange Things Happen To Me All The Time


Well, I've been trying my whole life through
To do the things normal people do
Look at this black cloud I'm walking behind
Strange things happen to me all the time

I saw the movie, I read the book
I know how life is supposed to look
So how come there's just no resemblence to mine
Strange things happen to me all the time

Maybe I'm unlucky
Maybe it's a curse
I wake up every morning
In a parallel universe

I got a feeling and it ain't good
There's trouble coming to my neighborhood
Whose doorstep will it darken? Probably mine
Strange things happen to me all the time

Maybe I'm unlucky
Maybe it's a curse
I wake up every morning
In a parallel universe

There's trouble coming to my neighborhood
Whose doorstep will it darken? Probably mine
Strange things happen to me all the time

Strange things happen to me all the time
Strange things happen to me all the time
Strange things happen to me all the time
Strange things happen to me all the time



Weak In The Knee


When I'm with you I get weak in the knee
I want to tell you everything that's important to me
When I'm with you I start losing my breath
I should not be afraid but it scares me to death

When I'm with you I start shaking inside
I want to go to the park, I want to got for a ride
When I'm with you I feel light in the head
I want to tell you my dreams while we are lying in bed

You say you could never love a sinner
I've never been too crazy 'bout beginners, beginners

When I'm with you I get weak in the knee
I want to tell you everything that's important to me
When I'm with you I start losing my breath
I should not be afraid but it scares me to death

When I'm with you I start shaking inside
I want to go to the park, I want to got for a ride
When I'm with you I feel light in the head
I want to tell you my dreams while we are lying in bed

Every time I want to touch your body
I never ever think that that's ungodly, oddly

The feeling's coming over me
The feeling's coming over me
And I do not know what it is
It has to be insanity

The feeling's coming over me
The feeling's coming over me
And I do not know what it is
It has to be insanity

The feeling's coming over me
The feeling's coming over me
It has to be a miracle
An absolute epiphany

The feeling's coming over me
The feeling's coming over me
I can hear the angels
And they're singing so angelically

When I'm with you I get weak in the knee
I want to tell you everything that's important to me
When I'm with you I get weak in the knee
I want to tell you everything that's important to me



Life Is A Buffet

guitar tab
Life is a buffet, eat like a pig
If you're gonna dream baby, dream big
Everybody zags, why don't you zig
Life is a buffet, eat like a pig

I took a look at my life, it was as boring as can be
How could I stand the mononotony
Every single day was the same as the last
Something had to change and it had to change fast

Life is a buffet, eat like a pig
If you're gonna dream baby, dream big
Everybody zags, why don't you zig
Life is a buffet, eat like a pig

I know that you don't drink or smoke, you don't hang around
You eat your healthy foods and you stay away from town
Nothing that you do is ever untoward
Aren't you getting tired, aren't you getting bored

Life is a buffet, eat like a pig
If you're gonna dream baby, dream big
Every mighty oak starts as a twig
Life is a buffet, eat like a pig

Well I know what you believe, I know just how you feel
But what if Hell's a myth, what if Heaven isn't real
What if all your prayers fall on non-existant ears
If there's no afterlife, well you'd better live one here

Life is a buffet, eat like a pig
If you're gonna dream baby, dream big
Just pop the cork, take another swig
Life is a buffet, eat like a pig

Life is a buffet, eat like a pig
If you're gonna dream baby, dream big
Everybody zags, why don't you zig
Life is a buffet, eat like a pig

Everybody zags, why don't you zig
Life is a buffet, eat like a pig
Everybody zags, why don't you zig
Life is a buffet, eat like a pig



Electronic Friend


I could worry myself to distraction
I could take a prescription drug
When it comes to your satisfaction
I could just lie back and shrug
I could practice and never be perfect
I could struggle and toil to no end

I could be gentle and sweet
But I could never complete
With your electronic friend
I could be gentle and sweet
But I could never complete
With your electronic friend

Buzz buzz buzz
It isn't because
I'm unwilling to try
Buzz buzz buzz
I never was
An unconfident guy

But I could practice and never be perfect
I could struggle and toil to no end
I could walk on thin air
But I could never compare
To your electronic friend

I could show you all of my stuff
But I could never live up
To your electronic friend

Do everything that I could
But I could not be as good
As your electronic friend

But who will you take to bed
When the batteries are dead
In your electronic friend

Bzzzzz
Bzzzzz
Bzzzzzzzzzzzzz



Too Soon To Tell


Through the stillness of the evening
Comes the sound of dying cars
And it drips up through your window
Then I turn and there you are
A window fan is blowing
But this room is hot as hell
I don't know where this is going
Cause it's still too soon to tell

There is music softly playing
I like all your stolen songs
And the television's dead
Because we hooked it up all wrong
In the dark, it's numbers blinking
Weave their own hypnotic spell
I don't know what you were thinking
Cause it's still too soon to tell

At the door of your apartment
There's a big old fashioned bike
And a spider's spinning webs
Around a pale yellow light
There's someone cooking something
I can't identify the smell
Better days might be coming
But it's still too soon to tell



Tiny People (With Enormous Heads)


Tiny people with enormous heads
Are haunting my dreams in the night
I know they're hiding underneath my bed
So I won't turn out the light
I see their pictures in the magazines
In the movies and on TV
Tiny people with enormous heads
Are scaring the crap out of me

There's a tiny person living down my street
With a head like a medicine ball
He's a politician, no, an anchorman
I'm not real sure at all
He's got bulging eyes and puffy cheeks
Tiny little legs and tiny little feet
And hands -- do you understand hat he's on of those...

Tiny people with enormous heads
Are haunting my dreams in the night
I know they're hiding underneath my bed
So I won't turn out the light
I see their pictures in the magazines
In the movies and on TV
Tiny people with enormous heads
Are scaring the crap out of me

Enormous people with tiny heads
Are coming after you and me
They are lumbering across the countryside
Eating everything they see
They're super-sizing and when they get full
They watch those tiny people on TV
Enormous people with tiny heads
Are scaring the bejeezus out of me

Tiny people with enormous heads
Are haunting my dreams in the night
I know they're hiding underneath my bed
So I won't turn out the light
I see their pictures in the magazines
In the movies and on TV
Tiny people with enormous heads
Are scaring the crap out of me

Tiny people with enormous heads
Are scaring the crap out of me
Tiny people with enormous heads
Are scaring the crap out of me
Tiny people with huge heads



I'll Get Over You


I wake up almost every day
I greet the moonlight the same sad way
I go back to bed just after dawn
Yes, things are different since you've been gone

There have been some sleepless nights
Some sleepless afternoons
There have been some sleepless mornings too

But I'll get over
I'll get over
I'll get over you

Well, I feel all right, no I don't
I'll go out tonight, no I won't
For I am strong, no I'm not
I can hardly stand all this pain I've got

Well, it make take a week, a month, a year
Or maybe four
It may be the hardest thing I ever do

But I'll get over
I'll get over
I'll get over you

I'll get over
I'll get over
I'll get over you

And if I don't
Then I don't

I'll get over
I'll get over
I'll get over you



Monkey Paw


Chorus
I wish I had a monkey paw
I'd put it in my pocket
I'd like to buy some hapiness
But no one seems to stock it

Sometimes I'm a tumbleweed
Sometimes I'm a cactus
I'd like to teach the world to sing
No one wants to practice

Chorus

I crawl inside a turtle shell
Where nobody can find me
You can't escape reality
There's no need to remind me

Chorus

If I was a Swedish fish
I would swim to Sweden
I love that God-forsaken land
It's the closest thing to Eden

Chorus

I'd like to see the whole wide world
I'd like to go to China
I'd meet a pretty woman there
And play with her computer

Chorus

Sometimes I'm industrious
Sometimes I am lazy
And sometimes I sing campfire songs
It drives the ladies crazy

Chorus



Happy Ever After


You used to be a nasty slut and I was really sleazy
I used to wear the tightest pants and you were really easy
You wore lots of make-up, I wore too much cologne
If we hadn't found each other, we'd have ended up alone

You used to be a nasty slut and I was not complaining
But in the end our carnal appetites were really draining
Now we're moving into a cozy little home
And I'm glad we found each other so we'll never be alone

We'll go old and gray covered with tattoos
You'll exchange your high heels for orthopedic shoes
We'll take the piercings out and put pacemakers in
We'll be happy ever after
We'll be happy ever after
We'll be happy ever after all

You used to be a nasty slut and I was kind of greasy
I used to wear a medal of St. Francis of Assisi
You wore giant earrings with semi-precious stones
If we hadn't found each other, we'd have ended up alone

You used to be a nasty slut and I was predatory
Now who'd have thought there'd be a happy ending to this story
We'll have nasty children and when they are all grown
We'll be glad we found each other and we'll never be alone

We'll go old and gray covered with tattoos
You'll exchange your high heels for orthopedic shoes
We'll take the piercings out and put pacemakers in
We'll be happy ever after
We'll be happy ever after
We'll be happy ever after all

After all
We'll be happy ever after
We'll be happy ever after
We'll be happy ever after



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